Know any teen boys who do just enough to get by? Who have time for YouTube but not homework or household chores? Who aren’t in real trouble, just disengaged?

An “opt out” teen is like a Chinese finger trap: the harder you push, the more he’ll resist, says Adam Price, a psychologist with a practice in the New York City/New Jersey area, and author of “He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself.” Parental concern that manifests as nagging does not help. Instead, start with understanding, which leads to productive interaction.

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